


Pink Strider

by ASBusinessMagnet (CreativityTheEmotion)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:26:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativityTheEmotion/pseuds/ASBusinessMagnet
Summary: While cleaning up with Bro, Dave discovers a long-lost family member. Naturally, the first person he tells happens to be the family member in question, completely accidentally.





	Pink Strider

\-- turntechGodhead  [TG]  began pestering tentacleTherapist  [TT]  \--

TG: sup rose  
TT: Greetings.  
TT: The usual coolkid routine?  
TG: mostly but there has been one surprise  
TG: and yeah you dont see me surprised every day  
TG: because when im surprised shits about to get down  
TG: im officially the stoic one in our little friend group of stupidity  
TG: but now its my turn to be shocked  
TT: Please continue.  
TG: basically i was cleaning up bros katana collection because he sucks and forces me to do stuff like that  
TG: when i came across a picture of his  
TG: which is basically three people  
TG: him baby me and a baby girl  
TG: and im like what the fuck man how come you never told me i had a sister  
TG: and hes like well you were too young to know you little shits  
TG: so whatever  
TG: and then he goes down memory lane like a bubble of memories in tv with harp sound and everything  
TG: and tells me about how i am apparently a twin  
TG: and thats my twin sister  
TG: and at the time bro was like  
TG: naming boys? ive got this shit your name will be dave  
TG: naming girls? lol do they even get names  
TG: and as a joke he and some drunk girl who was trying to fit in as our mom went like  
TG: how about we name her pink strider  
TT: That would be the most unfortunate name for an individual to have, I agree.  
TG: and so it was a nice little family  
TG: dirk dave and pink striders  
TG: for a while  
TG: then the mom had one martini too much and declared that she does not want to spend the rest of her days in puppet ass  
TG: and she took the absurdly named pink strider with her  
TG: never heard of her again  
TG: and never saw a photo of her again until that fateful day  
TG: which is today  
TG: yeah  
TG: today is actually a slow news day but lets pretend its a big fuckin shockin revelation that i had a twin sister  
TG: because that makes a lot of sense  
TT: Intriguing.  
TG: maybe you should see a picture of her  
TG: she even has the headband like you  
TG: and a princess dress with fuckin pompom shoes  
TG: you like princesses right  
TG: or at least  
TG: princesses the fucked up hp lovecraft edition with tentacles and squid heads  
TT: That is how one could possibly describe my feelings towards teenage female royal consorts, indeed.  
TG: dunno in reality i and this pink strider person were spiritually connected  
TG: but in an alternate reality you would have been her best friend  
TG: does pink strider sound like a name to you  
TG: because it doesnt to me and never will be  
TT: I see.  
TT: Family members separated at a young age never bond that well at all.  
TT: After analyzing at least a couple of case studies, I have determined that the so-called "blood connection" correlates a lot more with the state of adoption and spending years together with your family, rather than DNA.  
TT: Perhaps it is for the best that you lost track of Pink Strider and never once met her again.  
TG: yeah  
TG: of course for hollywood it doesnt matter  
TG: if hollywood ever establishes my own life story it will literally be me and pink strider who adopted some sort of superhero name  
TG: and we fight crime together and everyone behind the silver screen ships us  
TG: and then bam  
TG: were brother and sister  
TG: would suck for everyone including me and pink strider  
TT: You can stop repeating "Pink Strider" now.  
TT: I think I have memorized that name better than my own.  
TG: sorry rose  
TG: yeah basically its just some crazy coincidence that we should forget about immediately  
TG: maybe i will follow up with some bullshit story about pink strider that you have no way of verifying because we have officially lost track of her  
TG: and you will even doubt pink strider ever existed  
TG: does that sound like a plan for future conversations rose  
TT: Indeed, it does.  
TT: I will be leaving you for now, then, and definitely will not be investigating this Pink Strider deal further, because of the shocking dissimilarity between the descriptions of her mother and my own.  
TG: thats the spirit rose  
TG: you leave my weirdo family members alone  
TG: no talking about my bro and his pornbots  
TG: no alcoholic jokes because i and you cannot bond over our mothers  
TG: and this will be the last time i will ever type the words pink strider in sequence  
TG: nuh uh  
TG: i dont have a twin sister  
TT: In that case, hit me up when there's a shocking revelation that does not involve any of your family members.  
TG: will do rose  
TT: Farewell.

\-- tentacleTherapist  [TT]  ceased pestering turntechGodhead  [TG]  \--

\-- tentacleTherapist  [TT]  began pestering turntechGodhead  [TG]  \--

TT: You mean this picture?  
TG: what  
TG: what are you talking about  
TT: When you insisted that you found a photo in possession of your brother that does not involve any newfound family members at all.  
TT: I happened to chance upon a copy.  
TG: how  
TG: were you snoopin in my house while i wasnt lookin literally between these conversations  
TT: Not at that precise moment, but you could say I was present at your apartment.  
TT: But no, this particular copy of the photograph was in my mother's possession.  
TG: wait  
TG: this cannot possibly mean  
TT: Indeed, my mother and your brother spent some time together, but eventually separated due to a disagreement on what constitutes true irony.  
TT: I think I even have pinpointed their separation to a time period after our births as specified on our birth certificates.  
TG: wait so does that mean  
TG: youre pink strider  
TT: Naturally, I don't use that name anymore.  
TG: youre my long lost sister  
TT: And, as I predicted, our subtleties in character have drifted apart so much that we're no longer recognizable as siblings.  
TG: i still cant possibly believe  
TG: here let me type that out without using second person pronouns at all so everyone can recognize what were talking about  
TG: rose lalonde is pink strider  
TT: Affirmative.  
TG: well crap  
TG: there goes one third of my life  
TT: And there goes one third of mine as well.  
TT: Should I begin writing and turning in academic assignments using a joke name my mother came up with while intoxicated?  
TG: would be a good prank  
TT: Perhaps.  
TT: In that case, I will leave you to your own devices once again, and an absurd name that I was once called by is in my full possession now.  
TT: That will be another goodbye, estranged brother.  
TG: peace out pink

\-- turntechGodhead  [TG]  ceased pestering tentacleTherapist  [TT]  \--


End file.
